i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
