So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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