my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Alive.
So much puke
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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