I want to stick my p in your. b.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
