i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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