The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
