i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
