I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
