You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
A+ Viking dick
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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