I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
