U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
