i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
