so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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