Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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