You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
