Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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