I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You made out with two different species that night
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
