If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
