life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
you're hired as official boob wrangler
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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