East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
