Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
