Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
