I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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