Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
