Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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