its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
