This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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