i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
