All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i out mim tonsoeep
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