Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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