Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Randomize
