The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
