I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
