You're my little dorito
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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