she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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