Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
