woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
