I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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