I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
