i permit you to call me
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
