i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
