I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
