Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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