You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
