glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
