There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
