The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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