your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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