I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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