those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
