Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
