dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
