I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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